Over on Tumblr, there’s a great thread going on about what we learn about life and people by watching TV. Since this is Ars Marginal, and this is the sort of thing we talk about, why don’t we continue the conversation here?
Here are a few things I learned:
- Bisexual means lesbian until the straight White guy comes along.
- Only 2 types of people talk about race: neo-Nazi skinhead KKK mofos and paranoid militant Black people with chips on their shoulders.
- All lesbians want sperm donors to make babies. Failing that, adopting a Chinese girl would do.
- Disabled people don’t have lives like the rest of us. They exist to be symbols of the human spirit.
- Everyone in NYC has glamorous media jobs that pay enough to live in huge Manhattan apartments that don’t have mice or roaches.
What did you learn from TV?
Ars Marginal 
If a gay man or lesbian falls in love then they are so dead
Gay men are found in the accessories aisle, next to the handbags. And they are a Must Have for any leading lady
Right there with a handbag dog, of course.
“Lesbian” means lesbian until the straight, often white, guy comes along.
White teenagers can say the most brow-raising things to their parents, then storm off, slam the door, etc, and not be punished. Even if they do get punished, the worst they get is a week or two’s grounding.
don’t forget that the parents always find the right thing to say.
And that thing is never, “Excuse me? Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?!”.
yeah look a t 7th heaven
Black men are huge cowards who either rap or play basketball, unless you’re Mr. T, who can never back up their words… unless you’re Mr. T.
All latinos are Mexicans, and illegal immigrants and can’t do much on their own.
Black women can’t talk without tilting and tossing their head from side to side to show off how much attitude they have.
All Americans in the South are racist, ignorant rednecks who carry way too many guns and shoot them off into the air at the drop of a hat… and General Lee is a hero to be celebrated.
East Asian women can only be sexually satisfied by white cock.
If you’re a white guy and you meet an East Asian martial artist, he (yes, HE) will teach you all of his people’s magical fighting secrets because you’re the chosen one. However, if said martial artist wants to kill you, rest assured that this is because you’re the chosen one. When this is the case, simply wait for another martial arts master to come and teach you all of his people’s magical fighting secrets so that you can save us with your whiteness.
The word “kung fu” literally means “martial arts”.
Thailand is a haven for drugs, prostitutes, ladyboy prostites (because thai transwomen are Exotic +), Buddhist temples dispensing wisdom for white people, and elephants.
All transwomen seek to trick straight men into having sex with them. Having sex with one is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. They also all have penises. If they don’t, it’s still THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. if you had sex with them because they used to be men.
1. All black people live in South Central L.A.
2. All Latinos live in East L.A.
3. All white people live in Beverly Hills
4. All lesbians have to be pretty because diesel dykes don’t sell well to the masses.
5. All gay men are cutesy twinks with perfectly coiffed hair and designer clothes.
6. Every disadvantaged black or brown youth needs a “liberal” white person to save them and help them overcome adversity.
7. (And I learned this from Walker, Texas Ranger better known as Walker, the Magical White Man and his Sidekick Negro) People of color cannot save themselves or be a hero. Only butt-kicking white guys are allowed that privilege. I
1. There is no Black people in America
2. Asians hate black people
3. Pretty white kids who are in thier 30’s have problems
4. White guys always saves the day
5. I hate glee
6. White people are the only ones that have superpowers
7. I just hate TV
Speaking of white people being the only ones that have superpowers, they are also the only ones who gets to be vampires. That’s because vampires the most beautiful thing.
Angels are also all white for the same reason.
Jesus is white too.
God might be a black man though. If so, God exist to serve the trivial needs of white people.
Yeah being a stinking smelling vampire is the coolest thing…
I miss Blade.
YES
8. There are no Asians in America. And there’s no such thing as an Asian American.
Yeah there are….
Men are geeks and unattractive compared to White men
Women are used as white men weebo fantasy…
man I hate weebos
all seriousness… it explains why Hollywood never get Asian actors (American and across the ocean) to play roles other than martial artist.
God I love this site. 😉
I’ve learned from TV, basically, that TV sucks.
1. White people are good people by nature.
2. White women are the epitome of beauty and niceness.
3. White men are manly, altruistic and heroic.
4. Black men are thugs, gangsters, murderers, pimps, robbers, rapists, and lovin it.
5. Black women are loud, bossy, ready to fight, promiscuous, and have lots of kids by unknown (to them) daddies.
6. Asians hardly exist in America
7. All Latinos are Mexican.
8. All Latinos are “illegal”.
9. There are no native Americans left.
10. Africa is a country that needs our helping saving their children.
11. Gays are highly flamboyant.
12. Most gays are black.
13. The Middle East is always at war over something.
14. Black people are funny.
15. Most poor people are black.
16. Most black people are poor.
17. Rednecks are lovable.
18. Nerds are aliens
19. Asians talk funny.
20. Animals are more precious than non-whites.
21. Obama is a Muslim out to enslave white people.
22. It isn’t funny unless someone gets severely maimed or killed.
23. Intelligence isn’t entertaining.
24. Old people hardly exist.
25. Women want to have sex with bad boys.
26. Women only date those of financial success.
27. Disabled people are the ones to feel sorry for.
28. Every cartoon wants to compete with “The Simpsons” and “Spongebob”.
29. Music is getting more un-music-like by the year.
30. You can never have enough reality-based TV.
31. Women are excited when they get their period.
32. Every purchase helps a kid in Africa.
33. Chicks love fast cars and beer.
34. Women are so happy cooking and cleaning.
35. Sex sells.
36. Jesus is a white man.
37. God is a white man.
38. Black people love to go to church, shouting and singing.
39. Boys love action figures and toy cars.
40. Girls love dolls, pink–anything, and doll babies that pee and poop.
41. Star Wars is to be forever worshiped.
42. “The Simpsons” will never have their final episode.
43. When all jokes suck, just fart.
44. Country music still sounds the same.
45. It’s all about the money, money, money.
Oh! I forgot an important one:
46. The Kardashians are famous. Deal with it.
47. Only white people (mostly males) are “chosen ones”.
48. Only white kids get to save the day
48. Most white people (90%) live in middle and upper class neighborhoods.
49. If a white girl goes missing or gets killed, it’s a national tragedy.
50. Most overweight people are black women.
51. All black people LOOOOOOOVE chicken.
52. Celebrity news is the most important kind of news that’s out there.
53. Only funny cartoons made in America matter.
54. There are no gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or transgenders in space.
55. It’s not worthy of seeing if it doesn’t have explosions, car chases, fights, blood, half-naked girls and lots of them.
56. Having POC as extras in an all-white cast or having a POC sidekick with a white main character is a sign of racial progress and diversity.
57. All people in Texas are rich, white cowboys in the oil business.
58. Big booties are only trendy if they belonged to light/white-skinned women.
59. Big booties on women of darker colors makes them look fat.
60. Most kings, queens, princes, and princesses were white Europeans.
61. The only historians of any period are white people, and they deserve airtime.
62. Only black athletes get into trouble with the law and deserve to be punished severely.
63. Black people are out killing white people in large numbers.
64. Only black people deal with domestic violence.
65. Women thin enough to have their rib cages visible is considered beautiful.
66. Ancient Egyptians were caucasian.
66.b Anyone who is in the ancient world in white with British Accents.
For real you tell me that Hollywood can cast DeNiro and Pachino as mafia guys but can’t have them play Julius Caesar
That’s because:
66.c Blond and blue-eyed caucasians are the best kind of European. It’s simply not possible for Mediterranean Europeans to have built all that, because they look a little too much like Middle Easterners.
Aryanistception!
67. Middle Easterns are Terrorist
1. Asexuals don’t exist.
2. For that matter, neither do people who enjoy being single. Everyone pairs up eventually. Everyone.
3. Sex is an important rite of passage and you’re not a proper adult if you haven’t had it.
4. Don’t have too much though, or enjoy it too much. That’s wrong too.
5. Racists are almost all poor white southerners.
6. Only capital E Evil people can be racist.
7. Soldiers are all badass professionals with ice-water in their veins.
8. There’s no such thing as PTSD. If someone shows symptoms, they won’t last long.
Addendum to 4: Unless you’re a man. The more the better, but only with conventionally attractive ciswomen.
Let’s see:
1) White peepul: Anything you can do, they can do better because they are innately superior to you.
2) POCs should never be angry about racism, they’re supposed to “rise above” and be nice.
3) Black people are only meant to be the sidekick and subservient to white peepul, they’ll never be equals and to expect to do so, they’re being all uppity and don’t know their place.
4) Nothing says true feminism like being helpless, useless, running behind a man and having him fight all his battles for you.
5) Nothing says true love like abusive lovers who stalk, emotionally manipulate and threaten.
6) I learned that between Amistad and A Time To Kill, Matthew Mcconaughey single-handedly ended slavery and won Civil RIghts all in one fell swoop.
7) Gay men aren’t real men and can’t be tough or strong like straight men. If they do, they’re just being self-loathing.
8) Black women aren’t real women. Nor are they desired by anybody.
9) All black people are shiftless, ignorant, lazy savages who are looking for a handout. If it wasn’t for white peepul, we wouldn’t even have the rights we have now.
10) Queer people of color don’t exist. And when we do, it’s usually as the punchline of a joke.
11. Every POC and LGBT’s lives revolve around the straight white male’s life.
12. In New York there is no POC.
13. In the Future there is a very small population of POC
14. Only white people exist in outer space. If not, white people are still the galactic majority. Unless you’re Chinese. If you are, the best you can expect is having your culture cannibalised by Americans leaving a legacy of exoticism and badly pronounced Mandarin spoken by the descendants of westerners.
15. All white pretty white people have superpowers. POC just die off.
16. Diversity is out and White Duche guys are in (See 21 Jump Street)
17. All Canadians live in igloos… >_< (Sorry, personal pet peeve there.)
18. About the only country worth saving in world-disaster movies is the US.
19. Goths cut themselves all the time
20. All black women “tell it like it is!
If you end up in a coma after a serious head injury, there is a very high probability that you will one day just ‘wake up’, with no permanent deficits and no need for lengthy rehabilitation. If not, you will probably die.