“Oh noes! Johnny Storm might be (whisper) black this time!”

As it turns out, the reboot of The Fantastic Four films may cast a new Johnny Storm, and word has it that he could be . . .

Wait for it . . .

. . . black.

(Which also means that Sue Storm may also wind up being . . . . *whisper* black.)

Shhhhh!

I know we’re not supposed to be noticing that, being that we’re all post-racial and colorblind and all. But it doesn’t stop folks from pitching a fucking fit. Some shit about it betraying the original vision for the character or something. Y’know, kinda like Heimdall in Thor.

If anybody has seen Chronicle, the option of having Michael B. Jordan play Johnny Storm makes a whole lot of sense. Young, hot-headed dude who loves the fact that he’s a fucking superhero? Yeah, I can see it.

But when it’s Benadryl Cucumbersnatch playing an iconic man of color villain who was so awesome that even James T. Motherfucking Kirk had to show respect, all of a sudden it’s about the best person for the job.

Riiiiight.

I seent yo’ ass.