Hey, everybody. I know it’s been a while (I blame Tumblr), but I’m back and good and pissed off.
In case you didn’t know, Tumblr and Twitter got a little heated as a result of what we’re calling Swan Gate (no, really, you need to check the link to get the full effect of the fail), wherein a certain cast member of ABC’s Once Upon A Time decided that keeping her fucking mouth shut about something she doesn’t understand (aka Swan Queen) was too much to ask then followed up with some more bullshit. People rightfully called her ass out on her heterosexist bullshit, expressing how hurt they felt that once again, showing women loving women is something only appropriate for cable TV (then rubbing that in by mentioning opportunities to see the appropriately heterosexual couple doing the exact same shit). Now, instead of listening, acknowledging, apologizing, and amending, this person, like so many so-called allies, says, and I quote, “I support homosexuality” in response. Yeah, one of those straight “allies” who support us so fucking much until we have the audacity to pretend that fictional characters can be gay in the same ways they are straight.
Oh, it gets better (pun intended)!
Then some fans were looking at the expressions of hurt, disappointment, frustration, and anger — particularly those from the LGBTQ community (like this and this and this; oh yeah, this and this and this too) — and ignoring the shit out of those things to make it look like crazy fans going apeshit over something silly. Then out come the “calm down” and “not her intent” and “right to her opinion” and “just a TV show” and all that jazz.
And fuck anybody who signs on to that bullshit.
It’s not about a ship you heterosexist, homophobic fucks.
For me, Swan Queen is not just about hot chicks getting it on. Swan Queen is about a powerful, brilliant, beautiful queer woman of color finding love and happiness. Swan Queen is about the power of love to heal and to transform even the most hopeless of us. Swan Queen is about women being passionate, erotic, and romantic with each other without apologizing for it. Swan Queen is something I can relate to and hope for in my own life.
Swan Queen fandom was once a sanctuary, a place where I can feel safe and connected with other women who love women (and the people who truly stick up and by us). But because somebody just had to say something ignorant, and because some jackasses just had to stick up for that shit, this place where I once could find joy, safety, and connection has become a source of shame and alienation.
I know I’m not alone when I say that there are few places offline where I feel comfortably being openly queer. And not just in the, “Hey, I’m gay” Ellen Degeneres sort of way. I’m talking about the, “I think women are sexy, and I am erotically and romantically drawn to relationships between women” sort of way. Big difference, y’all. Big fucking difference.
In NYC, finding these spaces was easier. But I’m not there right now, and I need this sanctuary more than ever. But noooooo, I can’t even have this little bit of space for my fucking self. People in their meanness and carelessness just can’t seem to help themselves. They just have to encroach upon and violate one of the few safe spaces I have to be queer.
That’s why when I saw the tweets and the fuckheads supporting them, I nearly fucking cried. I couldn’t even gather the motivation to get mad (that came later, like today). It was just a waving a neon-colored dildo in my face kind of reminder that there is literally no place for me to just exist, in this world or any other. And IT SUCKS! IT FUCKING SUCKS!