A gent by the name of Adam Clayton Powell Jr. once said, “Unless man is committed to the belief that all mankind are his brothers, then he labors in vain and hypocritically in the vineyards of equality.”
While on the Syfy webpage (yeah that was my first mistake), I was reading some of the comments (yeah I know, that was my second mistake) regarding Doctor Who. One of the commenters argued that they didn’t approve of Russell T. Davies’s inclusion of LGBTQs in the Whoverse and accused him of pushing a gay agenda on the public and wearing his homosexuality on his sleeve.
These are claims I’ve heard too often from privileged cis-gendered heterosexuals. Anytime an LGBTQ dares be open and demand equal treatment and opportunity, they’re pushing an evil agenda.
This is a plight that minorities in general have to contend with. Whenever I speak out against racism and demand equal treatment, not only of blacks but all people of color, I can always count on at least one condescending caucasian rolling their eyes and accusing the black guy of playing the race card and trying to force his militant Negro agenda on poor innocent read: white people.
I certainly won’t insult anyone’s intelligence and pretend that there aren’t people who define their entire being by their orientation. But that issue isn’t indicative of any one group. That’s a human thing. One dimensional folks can be found in any group, regardless of age, ethnicity, orientation, etc. Yes that includes straight cis-gendered white folks. Yes they too can be walking stereotypes and one dimensional caricatures.
However demanding equal rights and opportunities =/= having some nefarious Machiavellian agenda.
Too often me and mine have received the, “I totally accept that you’re gay just don’t reference it or remind me of it in any way because it makes me uncomfortable. But I’m totally not homophobic!” BS from homophobes and so-called allies alike.
And to be fair I realize that as a gay man, my sexuality makes straight people uncomfortable. And to be fair I realize as a gay man, I’m expected to accomodate heterosexuals and their needs trump my own. I totally know my place. Totally.
So on behalf of queer folks everywhere, I am willing to negotiate. I promise to stop wearing my orientation on my sleeve and pushing my homosexual agenda on you and yours if you cease wearing your sexuality on your sleeves and stop pushing your heterosexual agenda on me and mine. Fair is fair. I think we can all agree that equality is awesome, Y/Y?
This entails but certainly not limited to:
-No more discussions about marriage, being engaged or relationships. That means if I’m at work or in public, I don’t want to overhear co-workers discussing their spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends or any other permutation of a heterosexual relationship.
-No more discussions about your children or parents. The fruit of a heterosexual lifestyle.
-No more public displays of affection. We don’t want to see any more cute cis-gendered heterosexual couples expressing their love, holding hands in the mall, restaurants and looking happy.
-No more songs about love and relationships.
-No more songs about heterosexual conquests.
-No more soap operas, chick flicks, or romantic comedies (hmmm…..this actually might not be a bad idea after all).
-No more action flicks which include the guy getting the girl.
-No more women’s magazines that feature articles about nabbing prince charming.
-No more men’s magazines that advise us on how to land chicks and keep them satisfied.
-No more teen idols and/or boybands.
-No more celebrity gossip about which cis-gendered heterosexual pairing is dating/sleeping/cheating on with who.
-No more Dancing With The Stars and their heterosexist male/female pairings.
-No more commercials advertising heterosexual couples or families.
-No more commercials where the guy uses the promoted product to woo the ladies or the chick using the product in question to bring all the boys to the yard.
-No more displays of heterosexuality in the media period.
-No more heterosexual themes in classic works of art and literature. Dickens, Shakespeare, all go bye-bye.
-No more asking women in real life if and when they’ll find Mr. Right.
-No more pestering me about when I’m going to meet the right girl and settle down and start a family.
-No more heterosexual themes in religion. This includes the Bible.
In short…..no more heterosexual references or themes in any way, shape, or form. Imagine a world like that for you.
That’s unreasonable, you say? Outlandish? But isn’t that exactly what you’re asking of us. Hmmm, now ain’t that ironic?
By the by, I think you got something on your sleeve.