(ETA: It seems that an update of the comments policy is in order, since a whole lot of motherfuckers with no home training keep rolling up in here trying to start shit. Fortunately, I don’t post their comments and simply add their IP address to the spam list. While using their ignorance for entertainment purposes used to be fun, it seems that they’re coming out of the woodwork, making it harder for real discussion to take place. I won’t call these rules per se, but let’s just say that I’m using them as very strong guidelines for what I will and won’t let through.)
NOTE: Moff’s Law is fully enforced here.
For whatever reason, discussing progressive political ideas tends to bring out the jackass in people. Maybe it’s the anonymity of the internet. Or maybe it’s because you know that saying fucked up shit won’t get you punched in the mouth. So here are a few guidelines you should keep in mind so you don’t look like a dumbass.
1. Learn what the fuck is going on here. Ars Marginal is not a public service. It is not a debate comm. It’s not for everyone. That’s on purpose. Ars Marginal is about marginalized people candidly engaging with various cultural media. This doesn’t mean we all have to agree with everyone about everything (ask any 100 random lesbians about The L Word), but denial, dismissal, and derailing are not. Which leads us to . . .
2. Keep it on topic. Really, this should be easily and intuitively grasped by applying the principle of #1 to every part of this blog, but no, I have to spell it out for some of these fuckers who come on here. For instance, telling the OP how pointless or stupid their post is – off-topic. Keep trying, and you’ll get banned. By the way . . .
3. If it’s not clear, ask. It won’t kill you. What’s obvious to some people isn’t always obvious to others. Raising questions for clarification is always welcome (as opposed to hastily rushing to make a point without, oh, reading first). If you want to stay on topic, it would also help if you . . .
4. Get your 101 on. If anti-oppression is new to you, be a good newbie and do a little reading first before you spout some nonsense that makes us want to projectile vomit through the internet onto your keyboard. Hell, if anti-oppression is not new to you, you know enough to know that you don’t know it all so you should still be learning. And while you’re at it . . .
5. Check your privilege. Because if you say something ignorant . . .
We will
we will
mock you.
Seriously, though, I can’t stress this enough. If you are not a member of the marginalized group(s) being discussed, don’t come in here acting like you know more than jack shit worth knowing about the issue at hand. Also . . .
6. Speak for yourself. The Soul Police (and every variant thereof) have no jurisdiction here. There’s no standard you have to abide by to prove you’re Black enough, gay enough, feminist enough, or what have you. Just like nobody can tell you how to be you, don’t go around telling other people how to be them. As a matter of fact . . .
7. Just say no to the tone argument. For those who don’t know, if you’re about to tell someone that they shouldn’t be so angry/snarky/whatever if they want to be listened to – don’t fucking do it. No, really, don’t bother. Because it won’t see the light of day. And keep in mind that . . .
8. No one owes anyone anything. And you don’t owe anyone else anything either. Not a response. Not the time of day. Not an explanation. Nada. While those things are nice, they are not required. Nobody is getting paid for this shit, so don’t make it a job to deal with your ass.
9. Fuck you, privilege denying dude! See that shit he says? Not a good idea here.
10. This is a drama-free zone. Ars Marginal space is for Ars Marginal discussions. This is really not the place to drag in bullshit from other online communities. Anyone can participate as long as they display home training.
Just so you know. If you roll up in here and start saying shit that reveals your lack of home training, Ars Marginal will not be held responsible for your fee-fees getting hurt. Quite a few of us have a healthy sense of schadenfreude, so we might just enjoy it.
If you have questions and/or something to add or expand upon, feel free to do so here.
“We will
we will
mock you.”
*holds up lighter*
The BINGO card link is broken. I find BINGO cards a helpful checklist of things NEVER to say to anyone in a polite conversation.
Thanks. Fixed.
Hey, saying ablist language will not be tolerated then using dumb as a pejorative on the next line:
“Just so you know. If you roll up in here and start saying dumb shit…”
Not so cool.
Sorry about that. Fixed.
This is particularly relevant for me today since I just wrote a guest post about cultural appropriation and fashion and a bunch of racially privileged people crawled out of the woodwork to tell me that it was okay to appropriate things in the name of “appreciation.” Face, meet palm.
As I said before, it May must be Privileged Peeps Showing Their Ass Month.
I’ve been told “people who cry about appropriation are just anti-tolerance,” since clearly appropriation is all about tolerance/acceptance. Trufax.
One of the commenters told me I was “playing the victim.” My ancestors were conquistadors. I’m pretty sure my side-eye radiated through the entire internet.
Aww fuck yeah a white dude got very upset at my “terrifying, unquenchable hatred for Caucasians.” I feel like I’ve arrived.
Congratulations. You have officially hit the big leagues.
And why didn’t I know about your review blog?
[resumes reading]
Haha, whups. It’s mostly reviews I already posted on LJ getting archived (which I did during the LJ DDOS attacks, juuust in case).
And thank you! Nothing as delicious as white men’s tears.
wonderful post.
I feel like this is the right place to tell ya’ll I pissed off a white dude author by writing a length analysis on how his book is Eurocentric and colonialist, wherein he swanned in to tell me trufax about his book and why I’m incorrect, ya’ll.
…before clicking the link I thought it was going to be about Jay Lake. White dude authors of a certain breed are all the same, aren’t they?
I was wondering about the tone argument thing. I’m a feminine oriented (a term I made up to indicate my preference for femmes of all genders) genderfluid femme uterus bearer (usually read as a woman due to my preference for dresses), and I have PTSD from a history of being domestically abused by a partner and anger (directed at me, not directed at bigotry) tends to trigger me. I do my best not to say busted shit, but like everyone I screw up occasionally. Obviously people completely have a right to be angry when people say busted bullshit, and I understand that people have a right to be angry with me when I say busted bullshit, but when I do I am truly sorry and do my best to correct my mistake. Is this a space I can feel safe interacting in?
In short, Ars Marginal is a liberate space, not a safe space because there is nothing safe about what we discuss here.
As to your question about safety, I honestly don’t understand why you believe it’s OK to put the burden of knowing your future feelings on me. I really cannot decide for you how comfortable you should feel participating here. I don’t see what’s keeping you from looking around a bit and choosing for yourself.
There’s something really fucked up about your approach here. I really don’t wish to discuss it, but I am offering a few links for you and future readers to understand why this line of questioning is anything but benign.
Thank you. I deeply appreciate the links and I see how my phrasing of my question was indeed rather busted. I didn’t mean to suggest that my feelings should in any way be privileged over other peoples freedom to debate/be pissed off/etc. I would never argue that an argument was invalid because its arguer was angry at me or generally angry.
I fully understand that not all spaces have to be accessible to me. If all PTSD triggers had to be avoided in all spaces at all times no one would ever say or do anything as they’re so diverse (another one of mine is the smell of salmon, and I have a friend who can’t be around tie dye). I realize that I came off as suggesting that accessibility for me personally was more important than the issues being discussed, and that was not at all what I meant. I was more asking about the accessibility of the space (exploring new spaces without asking the people who manage them first is something I’m a bit leery of), as I make an effort to avoid entering spaces that I don’t belong in (salmon farms for example, places where glass may break, movies with yelling).
A space being inaccessible to me is by no means a condemnation of the space. I’m very grateful that there are activist spaces I don’t belong in, as well as for the ones in which I do.
Obviously my personal issues do greatly limit the number of spaces I participate in, but my disability is mine and not something I mean to burden other people with.
Madeira
Anxiety disorders like PTSD are primarily about control, namely feeling like you have none. Though I completely understand feeling like it might be better to ask first, giving somebody else the control to determine what is an ‘accessible’ space for you doesn’t sound like the healthiest way of dealing with it.
You can’t come into a place like this and essentially say that people might need to tippy-toe around you if you say something that is messed up. I have PTSD and depression. Will my fluctuating moods sometimes determine the way in which I understand and respond to something? Sure, but I own that wholeheartedly, and don’t expect any hand-holding. The responsibility is always mine and the very last thing I want both offline and online is to someone start accommodating fucked up stuff I say just because I might be feeling more delicate than usual. It’s a part of me, but that part is just as privileged as the rest of me.
If you have triggers you watch out for them, and if you are in a space and start to feel triggered you avoid it. It is up to you to make that decision.
L